Boo

OK, so now that it's October, can we talk about scary books?  I love Halloween and have always had a fascination for the dark side.  When I was a teenybopper, I had a real thing for horror books, and became a huge Stephen King aficionado.  Why did my parents let me read that stuff?  It scared the shit out of me, but I couldn't get enough of it.  So they kept on buying these books for me and I kept myself up at night, reveling in the sheer terror of it all.

Did you ever read The Stand?  Holy apocalypse, Batman!  If you're a fellow hypochondriac, you'll just love the super-flu epidemic in this one.  You'll appreciate the classic battle between good and evil as well.  The suspense will kill you.  It's a real epic.

What about The Shining?  Damn, that shit freaked me out!  It's too bad the hedge animals and debauchery didn't make it to the screen version, but who's complaining?  Every time I see that movie on TV, I have to click past it as fast as I can.  Even the opening scene where the car is winding through that mountain road with the creepy music in the background is enough to set me on edge.  And the big wheel?  And the twins?  Enough already.  I think it's one of those rare instances where a film is actually as good as the book.

How about It?  I never liked clowns to begin with, but now I can't even look at them.  Any type of drain or grate in the sidewalk has me running for cover.  This book even ruined the song "Für Elise" for me.  If you want to know why, then go ahead and buy it, but I'm warning you, it'll fuck you up.

And speaking of fucked up (you'll have to pardon my French, fear brings out the truck driver in me), can someone please tell me why I thought it would be a good idea to read The Amityville Horror? Please don't ever start a scary book by claiming that it's based on a true story.  Really, just don't.  I'm still so pissed at myself for reading this book.  I hate that pig Jodie in the attic with his red eyes.  And for the love of God, please don't ever let me wake up at 3:15 AM to a phantom marching band who takes the trouble to roll up the carpet so it can pass through unhindered.  And if a priest is ever attacked by insects in my home, be a pal and make sure I pack it up and get the hell out of here.

OK, so now I'm home alone and terrified.  I need to turn on the TV and watch Jersey Shore or something.  No more scary book talk.