As many children of divorce know, there's a good deal of baggage that comes along with the split. Different kids handle the hurt in different ways. Andre Jr.'s hurt surfaced as rage. Instead of bottling it, he seized on every opportunity he could to vent it.
Dubus grew up in a small, blue collar town in Massachusetts. He lived on the wrong side of the tracks and he and his siblings were raised in a particularly rough part of town. They were always vigilant, but became victims of countless acts of violence over the years. Andre's response was to protect himself by building his muscles and learning how to fight. Once he felt confident enough in his strength and skill, he sought out any opportunity he could to lash out. His motto was to hit first and hit hard. He inflicted countless wounds over the years, but the thrill of the fight always seemed to transform into shame.
As a young adult, he learned to redirect his rage by channeling it into his writing. While his father was largely absent during his formative years, he resurfaced as a kind and supportive mentor once his son chose to follow in his footsteps.
Again, as a child of divorce, I was fascinated by the firsthand account of the suffering incurred by Dubus and his siblings. I felt like I was getting a rare glimpse of what it's like to be a boy who is encouraged to vent his anger in such a violent way. He's applauded by his friends and family because he can hold his own in any battle. He's often thanked for unleashing his fury, as long as he's taking it out on the "bad" guys. It seems like girls often turn their rage inward and become depressed. I got caught up in the whole notion of being able to diffuse the rage by acting it out. It seems like that would be a much simpler way to get rid of the hurt. But in the end, it seems that violence only begets violence. How inspiring it is that the author was able to take his pain and turn it into a thing of beauty.
are still very relevant today. The 80's weren't so long ago. My daughter's in the public school system now and her friends come in all shapes and sizes and I'm grateful for that. I want her to grow up knowing that we're all on equal footing, whatever we look like. Get this book. I think you'll like it.
, and the message in this book is pretty much the same as in all of Hahn's books, but it bears repeating. He basically wants us to know that we're all linked and interconnected, that we're essentially all parts of the same whole. Living with this belief in non-duality helps us to realize that if we hurt one another, we're hurting ourselves in the bargain. He believes that if we continue to recognize this, we'll become more compassionate with one another and achieve true happiness.
